January 2011
88 posts
Harper wins daughter of the year just in time!
Harper: Where is Rick Springfield’s house?
Me: What? Why were you thinking about that?
Harper: I just wanted to know. Where is Rick Springfield’s house?
Me: He lives in Malibu, but I don’t know where exactly. You know he’s not actually my friend, right?
Harper: I know. He’s your BEST friend, right?
This is maybe...
December 2010
77 posts
Is it a good or bad thing that I consider having survived the entire season of Dexter as a major accomplishment of the year? Guys, it was a REALLY tense season!
Holy crapola, this commercial for a cable company I will not mention just appeared on my television set: two girls are trying to fix the washer but they CAN’T because what do two girls know about fixing a washing machine, y’know?? I mean they’re just two young pretty twentysomething girls! So they bring up her father on the computer who’s all, “Girls, have you...
It was too cold to stay at the park so Harper wanted to go home. After some prodding I convinced her to go to the library because I thought Clyde needed some more time out of the house. On the way there somehow we started talking about prejudice and tolerance.
Me: You don’t have to love everyone, but it’s important to accept people regardless of who they love, or what their skin...
QUESTIONS I WAS ASKED TODAY BY MY FOUR YEAR OLD:
Do The Beatles have any girls in them?
Are the Stones all alive?
Do the Stones have any girls in them?
What bands DO have girls in them?
IS THERE STILL A LOT OF DAY LEFT???
Can two people think of the same thing at the same time?
(about our friend’s dog) Aw, she just can’t get enough of me, right??
I just listened to Jessi Klein on Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast (which is awesome in general) and she was hilarious. It was all really funny, but apparently if you throw in some temping jokes, I’m yours FA LIFE. (She temped as the person in charge of temps! You can’t write this stuff! And believe me I tried in every screenplay/sketch/joke I wrote in the late 90’s!)
WatchSanta Claus Is a Gay Couple Living in Chelsea
Merry Christmas!
WatchI think I’m in love with Michelle Williams! I don’t know if I’ll be able to take her AND Ryan Gosling in the same movie! I should probably go ahead and call it my favorite movie of the year right now.
Anyone pumpin and dumpin in the LA area should give it to Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently breast milk really is liquid gold!
I mean, I’m not proud that I took most of the candy out of Harper’s stocking and ate it, but it’s not a new low or anything. I mean I’m the one who put it there in the first place and she didn’t even know it was there! A new low may have been when Clyde’s speech therapist gave me candy to give to Harper and I ate it before she got home. But there’s...
Jen Kirkman - comedian: Don't Ask Don't Get... →
jenkirkman:
My husband just wrote this on his Twitter and to that I say, “Here, here!” (It’s not “hear, hear”, right?)
@neilmahoney “Fuck yeah DADT! Now you can fight and die for a country that doesn’t recognize your right to love one another. #touchofgrey #peedonparade”
I saw Obama do…
Yes. Jen Kirkman is smart and Obama is breakin’ my heart.
“Women have become too lacking in mystery. Now is the time for romance and and...”
– Jane Seymour, Jane Seymour’s Guide to Romantic Living (1986)
The holiday season is a time for mystery and romance! Not snacks and more snacks and then more snacks and more cookies and snacks and then a blanket!
(via jenniepie)
I love everything about this. And if I am reading this correctly,...
I was about to fall asleep last night when I had an idea too good to wait until the morning. I called Brett on the phone because he was still working downstairs.
Brett: Hello?
Me: If we get another female cat I just realized what we have to name her.
Brett: What?
Me: Jackie.
Brett: Jackie?
Me: Jackie Bauer.
Brett: Go to sleep.
When you go through your pantry clearing out everything processed and terrible for you, you’re supposed to eat your way through it, right? Okay good. Then I’m doing it right.
Watchsomuchfunithurts:
joemande:
I finally understand why people love John Starks.
Forever.
He may stand in a “Frito line” (and don’t act like you wouldn’t LOVE to know where one of those exists) and have terrible grammar, but he has my heart forever! 4EVA!!
“Scripture forbids sexual intimacy between members of the same sex. The...”
– The Salvation Army’s current statement of belief on homosexuality.
I honestly did not know this until I was told not to donate to them today and did some research. This is why Out Of The Closet got five giant bags of clothes from me today. (Along with one unopened copy of the Twlight New Moon board...
Sometimes when Harper is being a brat, SORRY, behaving in a bratty way, I tell her she hurt my feelings because I think it’s one way that I can get through to her. So today when Brett had to go upstairs and I told her I would color with her and she said, ‘I don’t WANT to color with you,” I told her she hurt my feelings. After a minute or so she looked at me.
Harper: I...
Harper: Mama! Come up here!
Me: Why?
Harper: You have to see me!! I’m bea-UT-iful!
She proceeded to walk down the stairs, topless, covered in necklaces, beaming.
Don't Ask Don't Tell
daveholmes:
This is a great day. It really is. But I have to say I’m getting a little tired of busting with pride when the United States of America joins the world.
Couldn’t agree more.
Me: Harper, why oh why did you get up so early?
Harper: Because I dreamt it would be a great idea!
i've never heard of you.: Darling, I'm so blue... →
fancyismymiddlename:
Things like this ruin me in the best possible way a person can be ruined.
Excuse me while I grab my box of tissues.
iveneverheardofyou:
You’ll never know just how much I miss you You’ll never know just how much I care And if I tried, I still couldn’t hide my love for you You ought to know, for haven’t I told you so A million or more times?
The old man gets on the...
I heard that Pottery Barn had Curious George sheets and Harper LOVES Curious George so I looked them up on the site. Apparently they are under the “boy” section. Really, Pottery Barn? Or rather, et tu, Pottery Barn? Apparently dinosaurs are also just for boys. Two of Harper’s favorite things are dinosaurs and Curious George, but I guess that’s weird because it’s...
Harper: Mommy, what happens when we die?
Me: (buying time, looking at Brett desperately) What’s that??
Harper: Daddy, what happens when we die?
Brett: Well, what do you think happens?
Harper: Like do we get lower?
Brett: Lower?
Harper: Yeah, like first our feet die, and then our legs?
Brett: No, we die all at once.
Harper: Hey, look at that Santa!!
The White Elephant in the Room: Topless Tuesday +... →
whiteelephantintheroom:
Buying anything from McDonald’s.
Cooking meat.
Wearing heels with short skirts.
Driving from NYC to New Hampshire.
Going topless in public.
Can you guess the category?
Things I Refused to Do When Alberto was Alive.
I’ve done…
This is a really great blog and if you enjoy great blogs you should read this one!
I gotta tell you that screener season really is the best time of the year. It’s like Christmas every three days! The Fighter and True Grit just came in the mail like magic! When I opened the package I got tears in my eyes. Guys, I really REALLY wanted to see The Fighter. And now I can! Also, I have almost no perspective! This is so great.
Statement a result of living in Los Angeles:
Harper, upon seeing a pedestrian: Mommy, does that man need a home?
A Facebook story | A mother's joy and a family's... →
robot-heart:
:(
This is so sad. And the kind of story I get obsessed with.