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What I took from the Golden Globes, aside from the glaring lack of Ryan Gosling.
Me: Why do you think George Clooney always picks these vapid, boring women? I’ll tell you, because they are beards. I don’t think he’s gay though, I think that George Clooney would be fine with being gay. I think that he probably has some weird, fucked up proclivities. Like, he likes to be hung up from the rafters and whipped or something. He uses a ball gag and just gets abused by ladies. Something so dark he could never be with anyone with for a long time without it getting out, so he has to keep hiring these beards.
Brett: Maybe he just has intimacy issues, so he doesn’t choose women that are his equals.
Me: Meh.
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